i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
