She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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