Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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