:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
