so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
