remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
