Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
