All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
