Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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