I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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