Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"

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(406): View more from Montana

As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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(989): View more from Michigan

no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself

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