He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
