I CAN MOONWALK!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize