brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
