i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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