i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
