mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
