One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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