What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
should my penis look like a turkey
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize