why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
