Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my shit smells like andre
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
