I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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