Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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