so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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