I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
