i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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