I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
