I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize