You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is wine microwaveable?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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