her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
