too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
