yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
