It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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