Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
