i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
