Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
