yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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