I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
