I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize