I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize