nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
