It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
