I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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