dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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