Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
