do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
