I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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