I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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