After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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