Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
only you would photoshop your dick
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
