My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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