Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
