it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
