I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
