hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
