i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
