Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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