I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
