He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
