hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
