Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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