i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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