He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
